Lobster is disgusting.

Which is why, last night, with the choice of lobster or steak, I very wisely decided to enjoy some steak.

You would think that would spare me from the lobster.  Nope.  My lovely boyfriend decided to have lobster...and I was caught in the crossfire.

Imagine that staring at you. 

Now, I'm not an animal activist or a vegetarian or anyone that gets upset over the fact that the entire lobster body is staring at me.

Or so I thought.

It was unnerving.  It's little antennae were this close to touching me.  I just wanted to enjoy my steak!  And yet I had to witness the carnage that is involved in consuming lobster.

That being said, I understand why people have lobster bisque or the lobster rolls.  It seems a lot of effort goes into eating a whole lobster.  I was thoroughly disgusted by the raging battle next to me.  It was also kind of sad, because even though the lobster was already dead, I was for a short while debating on who was actually winning the battle occurring not two feet from me.

Firstly, torture devices are used:

Oh god. It's like something out of Saw.  Or the dentist's office.

They viciously crack through the outer shell of the lobster and then rip the flesh from the casing.  

Disgusting.

As I go into the next part of my riveting story, I would like to reassert that I love my boyfriend very much and I would never do anything to hurt him.  He's cute, funny, and intelligent---saying words like "difficult" in place of "hard" to illustrate that last point.

But he friggen' cracked open that lobster and sprayed lobster juice all over my face and shirt.

Now imagine that with a look of complete disgust, and my hands coming up to block my face.
That's about right.

And then he laughed.  At me.  

It probably wasn't that much lobster juice.  Not gonna lie.  But I had already grossed myself out with the lobster staring at me and so the droplet of "water" sliding down my nose had me ready to jump in a decontamination unit, CDC-style.

Not to mention the rank smell of salty-death-water was rapidly decreasing my appetite.

As was the carnage in front of me.

Funny story.  So I went looking for a picture of a lobster, post-dinner style, and I didn't find anything until I actually typed in "lobster carnage". Glad to know I'm not alone.

Gross.