I won't change. Maybe you should.

The next person that tells me I have to be positive needs to take a good look at themselves.  Why do you feel the urge to change me?  I don't need it.  I don't want it.  Stop giving it.

I just want to be left alone, honest.

I'm a good person.  I get things done, and I care deeply for my friends and family, as well as the plethora of animals I encounter.

So what if I say I have bad luck?  I DO.  It's my life.  I have a running commentary in my head that deals with it.

With humor.  With ranting.  With negativity.

But if it works for me, and people appreciate me, and I do my job well (and sometimes better than well)---why must you harp on me?

It's insulting, and belittling.

Am I less of a person because I don't smile 24/7?  Please.  We all know that's not true.

I enjoy parts of my life.  I do.  They are usually the private moments that you just can't replicate every day:
 

• Waking up at 6 in the morning when spring starts: just to watch the sunrise and hear the birds.
• Cuddling up with a book and tea.
• Wrestling on the floor with a pit-bull, or a beagle, or a whatchamacallit-style mutt.
• Listening to a song I love and totally rocking out in my room.

Why do I have to plaster a fake smile on myself, lie to the people around me, and pretend every aspect of my life is great. 

WHY?

It bothers me that people harp on me about my negativity.  They didn't know me when I literally saw NOTHING in my life as positive...as worth living for.  Don't talk to me about negativity, you probably have never been as far gone as I have...

I'm sorry I don't fit into your picture perfect idea of society.  I don't.  But I belong in society.  People like me get things done.  We find the catch's, the pitfalls, and the loopholes.  We see the other side.  We don't walk through life blinded by oblivious positivity.

There are people that get me to smile, and laugh until the tears run down my face.  And you know what?  It's because they accept me for me, they don't try to get me to change.

To improve.

I like myself.  The way I am.  With my snark, and attitude, and wit.  I don't need to improve in that way.  

I can learn.  I can perfect.  I don't need to change.

Next time you decide I'm not positive enough for you...you decide you need to fix me....you decide that I must have a horrible life because of my attitude...

...maybe you should think about how your positivity makes you less of an accepting person....makes you more discriminatory.  Belittling.  Hurtful.  Judgmental.

And then ask yourself...

Is it better to be a positive person, or an accepting/open minded individual?

I wont change.  Maybe you should.  I'm a person too.  A negative, pessimistic one.  And proud of it.