I apparently wake up every morning, go the mirror, and assert that "Today I am NOT a Bitch"

And who knows if it works.  I try my damnedest not to be a bitch outwardly, but it only has about a 45% success rate.

I also like to pull statistics out of you know where.....about 98.6% of the time.

So I had someone piss me off today, and I had to go bitch.  But first I had to hold it in through my first round of duty  (a word which I STILL can't say to my boyfriend without him sniggering and saying "you said doody!)....

...and then who do I meet up with but my favorite neighborhood pseudo-stalker!

So I'm explaining to him what happened and how I tried to be nice because I'm really not a bitch...

...and he laughed at me.  Well that's just wonderful.

Care to elaborate, my dearest stalker friend?

Apparently I am a bitch.

Gee, thanks.

Also, I look in the mirror, every morning, square myself directly in the center, make eye contact with my mirror image, and repeat "I am NOT a Bitch" until it sinks in.

............according to my stalker friend.  No names on the blog of course.  Eventually I'll dedicate a whole post to his stalker-ism and he damn well better feel appreciated.

BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT HIM.

The point is, if you don't want to end up in my blog, don't piss me off.  This is where all my feelings go that I won't necessarily say out loud, but still need to be said.

Not that my blog is inappropriate.  It's just that as my thoughts gather, ferment, spoil, boil over and otherwise ruin my life, I have to find a place to put them.  Hence the blog.

Anyways.  I really do try hard not to be a bitch.  My Law teacher has this saying, to justify his making fun of all of us lowly students
"For every comment I say, I throw 4 worse ones away"

It's a true story.  I mean, I'll be honest, sometimes I throw nothing away.  But I've really gotten much better at filtering and otherwise reigning in my mental commentary. Really.

I don't even post everything I want to say.  I try to be a decent person, but sometimes the people I'm around make it so hard.  

I just got through my mini-freak out with the aid of The Lion King.  I sing it whenever I'm upset.  If I'm singing to the Lion King, leave me alone.  And don't join in.  Just...don't.

Just walk away.

So if I'm singing "Shadowland", GTFO.  I don't want you near me, I am THIS CLOSE to mental breakdown, and I need a break from all stupid human contact.

If I'm singing "Endless Night" I'm getting better.  My favorite quote is in that song.  It's a strangely optimistic quote for such a pessimistic person.  Kudos if you know me well enough to know it.  

If I'm singing "Circle of Life" I'm pretty much ok, but still not enough where you should disturb me unless you are bleeding from a major artery.  Like, a major one.  I mean it. 

.........Like, out of your throat or some crap like that.

If I'm singing something else, I'm just coming down, de-stressing: call it what you want.  It is now safe to approach me slowly, head on (where I can see you), and averting eye contact.  

Except for this song, this is still not good news.

If I've stopped singing loudly and you can't hear me stomping around my room anymore: Crisis is over.  You are clear.

I am NOT a bitch, I am NOT a bitch, I am NOT a bitch, I am NOT a bitch, I am NOT a bitch, I am NOT a bitch...