A Small Spot of Light Floods the Floor: I normally hate the human life around me but...

....I'm finding a small percentage strangely tolerable.

Like my residents this year. They are just a hoot.

and my creeper, who gets along with most of my residents.

and my RA co-workers. They're pretty sweet.

And of course...my boyfriend, who I got to see this weekend (but he's always been tolerable).

But I wonder why people are suddenly more tolerable to me. I thought I was over this whole "being social" thing. But it's strangely fulfilling, some of the time.

Don't get me wrong. I still hate some people with the very fiber of my being, that which being consumed in my breakfast resides deep inside my stomach, that kind of fiber.

So I guess you could say it's a superficial hate that passes eventually.

But it is still hate, and it's still definitely there. But that's nothing new, nothing notable.

It's this tolerance that is disturbing.

I find people interesting, and funny, and I like to laugh. A lot. I want to be included to do things. But funny thing about that.

I can't go anywhere with anyone unless I'm strictly invited. I know, sounds normal. But you don't get me. If it's implied, and people are just assuming I'll go, it's not going to happen. I've got to know for sure that I'm wanted, otherwise I shirk away and hide so as not to embarrass myself. As in, if everyone's planning to do something around me, like go to the mall, and I show interest, but no one is specifically like "hey Jenny you can hop in my car" I'm going to go hide in my room rather then attempt to go, EVEN IF IT WAS IMPLIED THAT I WAS INVITED. Implied is not good enough. In fact, you should print invitations for me. I promise I'll RSVP.

This'll do.

Note: the whole mall thing, that actually happened. And then people were confused as to why I didn't go. Yeah, that's why.

But anyways, that is besides the point. I don't like to do things. Psh. Things. That's for people that like to do them.

Huh?

Whatever. I just don't. I like to read and draw in my room. But my book is just sitting there, and my Duncan painting desperately needs attention. And what am I doing. Laughing my ass off upstairs with the girls, chatting it up while my creeper has a cigarette, and going for walks with my favorite Becker couple and friends.

I like to hang out with my door open (which it is RIGHT NOW, by the way. Weirdness). I like to write on people's boards when I'm on rounds. Stuff like that.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. This means instead of being an extreme loser, I am now only a moderate loser. It's not like I drank some magic cure or something.

Like- Don't expect me to become a cheerleader, that's not going to happen.

HOW CAN YOU EVEN SMILE WHEN YOU'RE BENT LIKE THAT?!

Not that I don't have cheerleader friends. Because I do. I'm even friends with the school mascot, even though as a kid I hated those costumes. You should see the pictures of me in Disney World. I was one little pissed off chickie.

No, I don't have them. But they are funny. I promise.

I barely have time to blog anymore. But when I do I still love it. I'm just so busy:

-RA

-Training 4 Beagles

- Co-President of Animal Health Club

-Official Note-Taker for CLC

-Portraits

And then you know,

-Being a double major

-Carrying overload...21 credits

-Having to maintain a 3.9....no big deal.

I should be in that movie "How She Does It" You know, with that girl Sarah Jessica Parker?

Here, I'll get you a picture:

This actually came from a website asking "is this a horse or Sarah Jessica Parker?" Tehe.

I know that joke has been done before---BUT NOT BY ME. Just shut up and take what I give you. Brats.

But anyways the basic premise is that she's super busy but somehow awesome. FALSE. That's Sarah Jessica Parker we're talking about. Jeesh. The closest she got to awesome was Dudley Do-Right.

I'm super busy but I'm awesome. In a believable way. If you squint really hard. And warp your definition of awesome.

I should have a movie?

But who would play me?