I smell it in the air...

...the bitter and yet sweet smell of leaves and condensation.  I feel the sharp sting of autumn air on my skin and smile.  It's starting to feel like my genuine smiles are few and far between, but at least I have this moment to myself.

I'm exhausted but the sensory overload energizes me, even if only for a second.  Walking into the dining hall where the smell of heat lamps and disinfectant overrides the fresh smell of outside brings me down.  Tea and a pumpkin muffin bring me back.

The tea feels good in my hands; a small mug I can hold so tightly my fingers overlap.  My head is starting to hurt for the 10th, 11th, maybe 12th day in a row, but what else is new?  Beating the headaches isn't my accomplishment for the day, getting myself out of bed was.

Beaten down, overworked, burned-out, over-tired.  Exhausted, irritable, hopeless and angry.

But as I leave the dining hall and my feet crunch the few leaves that have already fallen, I take a deep breath.  It's made all that much better by the smell of fall in the air, and the coolness of the wind in my throat.

I can do this.