If you're wondering why no girl wants a "Nice Guy"...

…it’s because they don’t exist.

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I’m just going to wait for the guys to calm down.  I’m not saying that men can’t have sparkling personalities.  I’m not saying that none of you have relationship potential.

What I’m saying is….define “Nice.”

Go ahead.  You can’t just define “Nice” by repeating the word and having your audience understand exactly what “Nice” means to you.  That’s because “Nice” is subjective.

Repeat after me: "Nice" is subjective.

If I asked three different friends to define “Nice”, I would get three different answers.  What does “Nice” mean to you?  Caring? Thoughtful?

Dig deeper.  Does “nice” mean he wants to meet your family?  Does “nice” mean he pays for dates?

Because for me, I can pay for a date and still like you. Honest.  So that’s not my bar for “nice.”  To someone else, that might be a deal-breaker.

Nice is a cop-out.

Stop describing yourself as a “Nice Guy”.  What does that even mean?  Are you compassionate? Do you volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends?  Are you charming?  Funny…no, hilarious? Are you emotionally available?  Are you ambitious?  Are you faithful?  Confident, sensitive, understanding?

If you describe yourself as “Nice”, I’m sorry, but I get nothing out of that.  You might think the world of yourself and someone else might too…but you might not fit MY definition of “Nice”.

So why don’t we avoid that altogether? Stop describing ourselves (that includes us, girls) as “Nice”.  We are so much more than a one-dimensional, vague, overused phrase.  We are multi-faceted creations that don’t fit the “Nice” mold.

I can be patient and compassionate one moment and moody and unpredictable the next and guess what? I’m not a bad person.  I’m just a real person.  I’m an awesome person.  No one is “Nice” 100% of the time.  No one can be, because “Nice” doesn’t exist in the same form to every person.

So the next time a relationship doesn’t work out, don’t start bleating out to the general public about your “niceness”, or about how you deserved better.  Get up, dust yourself off, try again. Stop describing yourself as “Nice” in an attempt to win someone over and instead…present yourself as a real person.

Stop using “Nice Guy” as a personality type. It’s not.  Pick up a goddamn thesaurus and figure out which adjectives you REALLY mean when you describe yourself as “Nice.”  Use those instead.

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Disclaimer:  

I haven’t even touched upon the “friendzone” culture in reference to “Nice Guys”.  Don’t even get me started, but that was NOT the point of this post.  Point is, drop the entitlement, drop the word “Nice”, pick up a thesaurus and a personality.  Jenny OUT.