Holy Self-Confidence Batman!

Normally I get an idea, and I want to blog about it. It nags at the back of my mind and I can't let it go until I've typed it away.

For whatever reason, today I got the urge to blog...but no idea.

That was, until I realized I haven't blogged about some big changes in my life, according to my blog, it hasn't happened.

I'm referring of course, to the new me!  It's not just weight, it's personality.

...but the whole weight loss thing is pretty good too. 

Since January, I've lost around 30 lbs.  I look awesome.  I spent practically all day today in a bikini and the rest of my time in daisy-dukes and a tank top. And you know what? I rocked them.

If we're honest, I know what started me on my "new me" mission.  It was a breakup.  I refused to do the "breakup haircut" and instead decided to hit the gym.  

And wham-bam...HOT DAMN.

This was me, before:

Now mind you, this is a FLATTERING picture, courtesy of my cousin Rachael.

Holy Huge.  At least my truck is sexy.
Those jeans are size 13.

Alright, it wasn't terrible.  Or so I thought.  Turns out, I was kinda kidding myself.  And wearing baggy shirts and hiding the weight.

Now, for all the afters:

My tan lines are the only thing embarrassing in this picture.

I bought this dress without trying it on:
I purposely picked a size smaller than I thought I would be and...well you see.

Progress shot! This is late March.

My legs are literally my favorite part of my body.

Skinny little waist!

That dress? It's a size 6.
The dress I THOUGHT I was gonna wear was a size 14.

You guys get the idea.  But it's so much better than that.  I ran my first 8-minute mile the other day.  I couldn't run a mile in January...I would have to stop and walk.

I try new things.  I'm more comfortable meeting new people.  I smile more. I strut like it's my job.  I don't mind my picture taken because I'm damn proud of my work. 

When I go shopping I automatically grab size XL shirts.  Old habits die hard and all.  But you know, it feels so good to go and put that shirt back, and grab a medium, or maybe even a small.  

I went swimsuit shopping before vacation.  It was the first time in years that I didn't feel like bursting into tears.  In fact I kinda had a fit of giggles in the dressing room. If something didn't work on me, it wasn't ME anymore...it's just a damn weird bathing suit- whatever!

Hearing "have you lost weight?" doesn't bother me like it does some people.  I smile really big and answer "yes!".  I'm glad people notice.  I feel for the first time in years that I'm noticeable.  

I'm not shaming my old body.  I'm not even mad that I went through that period in my life.  Hell- It's not like I have six-pack abs now.  I have a small layer of resistant cushy-ness.  Whatever.  I don't care that it stays there as long as I know my body can do so much more now. I can run, dance, hike: longer, better, stronger.  

My whole lifestyle is different.  It's better.  I'm happier.

Some people might think that I'm too proud.  But let me ask you this:

What kind of society do we live in, where it's more acceptable to hate your body, than to love it?

That doesn't mean that you have to love your body as is.  You can change whatever you want about yourself because that's the thing: it's YOUR body. Gain weight, lose weight.  Pierce yourself. Cut your hair.  Leave it long.  Just understand that what you leave behind isn't toxic.  It's just a different part of your life, and you can be proud of changing, or staying the same.  It's your choice because it's YOUR body.

I guess in the end it just means you do what makes you happy: do what makes you love yourself.

The rest will follow.